jupiterfemme:

lordturkeyfist:

hatingongodot:

hatingongodot:

lordturkeyfist:

hatingongodot:

lordturkeyfist:

hatingongodot:

Me when I stutter on the phone during a business call

Me when i ask for real spicy and not white people spicy

Me when I step in a puddle and I feel the water penetrate my socks

Me when my friend’s 90 pound dog stomps on my nuts

Me when h– wait, what?

Oh! I’m sorry! I misheard. I thought you said “Me when my friend’s dog stomps on my 90 pound nuts.”

If i had 90 pound nuts do you think i’d be here? Clowning in this shit hole? I’d have a house of gold. A car of jewels. Lingerie forged with meteorite and silver coins. Dont be so naieve

how do you mishear a post


https://inside-deadgirls-head.tumblr.com/post/180167539538/audio_player_iframe/inside-deadgirls-head/tumblr_or3qis45y11tqjz8q?audio_file=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tumblr.com%2Faudio_file%2Finside-deadgirls-head%2F180167539538%2Ftumblr_or3qis45y11tqjz8q

theawesomeadventurer:

johnnys-robot-gloves:

this fucks me up every time I listen to it

chancethereaper:

rebuilding221b:

alliharkness:

rebuilding221b:

alliharkness:

ayellowbirds:

peacockandyagi:

diamondfangedbarbarian:

fireandlifeincarnate:

supervillains fucking hate fighting the x-men because the teams change constantly and sometimes there are??? totally new people there???? fuck there’s a teenager who literally just has eyes all over his body. is he even technically a superhero yet or is he a student. who the fuck knows. how do we counter this shit

When one seems completely non-mutated and they’re like

@melazertyiop

And no matter which team it is, Wolverine is there. Is it the future? Wolverine is there. Is it an alternate reality? Wolverine is there. Is Wolverine dead? Wolverine is there.

Was Wolverine never born in this alternate reality? Wolverine is there.

Does Wolverine only exist as a non corporeal spirit? Wolverine is there.

Is Wolverine only a philosophical construct used to explain our place in an uncaring universe? Wolverine is there.

Is Wolverine only a theological concept used to explain mankind’s struggle against the universe? Wolverine is there.

Is Wolverine there? Another Wolverine is also there.

And let’s not forget when the villains just switch sides. Last week this guy was on your side now he’s next to Wolverine and kicking your ass. 

The only constant is Wolverine.

spearmint-milkshake:

lol I love when men try to deny studies that show that men do less housework and childcare than their female partners by any means possible, from “men go to work! Should we come back from work to cool and clean?!” (because apparently it’s the 50s and women don’t have jobs) to “men’s jobs are harder! Women work in air conditioned offices sitting at a desk while men are breaking their backs in factories!” just admit that like 90% of you are lazy fuckers who have grown up expecting women to do all your domestic chores and child rearing for you.

Even more annoying are all the woman who rush to men’s defence like “MY husband pulls his weight around the house! He always puts his dirty dishes in the sink for me to clean instead of leaving them on the table and once he wiped his piss droplets off the toilet seat!! I didn’t even have to ask!”