we still don’t understand how our brains work. but if they were simpler, we still wouldn’t.

spideyandstark:

y’all give peter shit for being Awful at keeping his identity a secret but tony stark’s friends literally prepared him a speech so he could perfectly cover his alter-ego and he just got up in front of hundreds of journalists and said ‘i am iron man’

#the apple doesn’t yeet far from the tree

ashestoashesjc:

megadethzenbu:

floating-head:

princesspornstar:

super-saiyan-rose:

frommetrunui:

ygosideblog:

who keeps giving her these things

she ends up condemned too D:

damn bitch get it together

She’s a Darklord now too

mynamebatman:

blueelectricangels:

pervocracy:

are you ready for my favorite fact?

If you leave a hamster wheel out in the forest, wild mice will come and run on it.

that is my favorite fact

Bobcats and lynx will sit in cardboard boxes abandoned in the middle of the forest.

I asked the lynx researcher who told me this why, and he said “Cats, man” and shrugged.

This is now an “if I fits, I sits” appreciation thread.

klapollo:

klapollo:

Im watching the parade and Julia is on the Sesame Street float and they actually outfitted her muppet with noise reduction headphones 😭😭😭😭😭

i cry

belzebubsofficial:

And that, kids, is how you flirt.

did-you-kno:

Boy dolphins often try to impress girl
dolphins by giving them a sponge as a
gift. Male Australian humpback dolphins
present large marine sponges to their
favorite females- sometimes getting so
excited that they aggressively throw the
sponges at their desired mate. They also
work in pairs with other males, making
them one of the only species besides
humans that use ‘wingmen.’ Source

just-shower-thoughts:

people who often say sorry even when it’s not their fault or it’s not in their control probably do it because when they were younger they were often blamed for things that weren’t their fault or weren’t in their control

Best Thanksgiving Ever

So it was also my Birthday, if you missed that. 1st I got a nice sized bag of weed. (Dont ask me about it. All I know is its Sativa and Iike it lol) and everyone knows eberything is better with a bag of weed. (Also in case youre freaking out its legal in the state of Nevada, and Im of age) But Anyway. Ive been around this part of my family for a very long time, until recently. I spent the last, 4ish months In California because I don’t have much of a choice. But I missed them SO much! My 5 year old Cousin and 3 year old Brother made me cry happy tears a bunch because they were making me “cards” and giving me their toys for my Birthday. I was in like a pile of random toys and markers and scribble drawings. It was amazing. Everyone was in a super good mood! Even my Grandpa and his Brother, my Great Uncle (who are Veterans, just to give you a bit of an idea) they werent even insanely drunk! I talked to them more Yesterday than I have in the last 5 years. It went very well.

But

THE BEST PART was right before dinner, we, like many family’s, say a prayer. And what we are thankful for. Except, ours normally is just “Dear god thanks for the grub amen” said really fast. its more of a family meme tradition. We arent religious. But SOMEHOW I just pulled this out of my ass. RIGHT before everyone was about to dig in I said “WAIT” everyone froze and looked at me. I hold my hands together over the table “I would like to add to the prayer…” I didnt check their faces… I imagine they were pretty shocked. I took a pause “…Dear God….-ess. Artemis. Greek Goddess of the of the hunt, harvest, woman, and-” My Grandpa intterupted with “I thought the Goddess of the hunt was Diana?” And of course I said “Thats the Roman ripoff” and he asked “Theyre the same thing” and I said “No. Artemis is also the Goddess of Lesbians. The Roman versions took out the gay-the BEST PART and then changed their names-AMEN” And I quickly took a giant bite of my turkey leg. And my Aunt got this picture. If you look closely you can see me staring straight into the camera

TLDR: I Prayed to the Greek Goddess of Lesbians for Thanksgiving dinner and the only thing that was said was my Navy Veteran Grandpa getting Artemis and Diana mixed up. I fucking love my family